Friday, the 23rd
Class? Did I even think about going to you? Definitely not…I have my priorities set
straight, curing the hangover was far more important…giant ass breakfast
burrito is greater than sheeken and cheeeeseee from Fiona. From 1-4, Jay and Aaron finished their
papers…you probably inferred here that both Jay and Aaron chose drinking over
papering last night…Devere Scholars. To
celebrate we made a coffee/irish cream mix, heavy on the irish cream. After a little social lubrication, we hopped
in a cab with a former Hogwarts professor and rode towards the train
station…hey dumb*ss, we said bus station, youre taking us to the train station,
figure it out. Anyways, back to the bus
station…and we have now learned about Diana’s incredible gift of laughter slash
oxygen deprivation…I think we abused the privilege.
Despite not
being part of the UCC facebook Galway group, we were luckily allowed to travel
with Diana, Amelia Bedilia, and Josh.
Needless to say, I apparently am not the greatest time table reader for
trains…so folks, if we ever travel on a train together, double check the time
table, I’ll probably f*ck it up.
Anyways, we got on the next bus, no biggie…I think Diana was kinda mad
though, sorry. Next stop, Travelodge…except
we never really checked where the hotel was, luckily Galway is not too large
and we found it eventually.
We next met in
the park, Josh was drinking out of a 2-liter bottle of Sprite, mixed about 75%
with gin…that shit is gross Josh, seriously.
But we headed to Fibber McGees…2 mixed drinks for 5 euros, Josh is in heaven. Luckily, the dude abides…Josh orders 2 White
Russians…this man is hammered everyone…Josh you the man. And Kelsie, Liz, Diana, and Amelia, you
attract the creepiest dudes…onwards to CK Lounge. Let’s play a quick game…bar that needs to
give away free booze to get customers, has 10 people inside, nobody on the
dancefloor, and zero females…GAY BAR.
Whatever, Jay, Aaron and I break it down on the dance floor…someone not
named Aaron or Stephen slapped a dudes ass, and then we bounced.
Next comes a low
point in my life…the Kings Head. Sitting
at a table are six women over the age of 60, dressed as sailors…so I approach
and in my manliest voice say, “I see all you ladies up as sailors, I was
wondering if you’re looking for any sea-men tonight.” Luckily, the ladies laughed and I walked
away. Kelsie, task #1 accomplished.
Next task, get a
kiss from a cougar. Jay combs his hair
real qquick and rolls over to a group of brides-maids, and says, “I am from
America and I heard it is good luck to get a kiss from an Irish woman.” Boom, it worked like a charm. Kelsie, task #2 accomplished, you now owe us
sandwiches.
From here, the
night dies quick. Liz and Kelsie
leave. The drunchy monster kills out
buzz. Everyone decides to leave as the
next bar is literally a dance floor covered in broken glass (Josh, thanks for
snagging the pint glass). Ws stumbled
back to the Travelodge, talked with the check-in dude about Charles Barkeley
being a Brazilian cocaine dealer (this dude was definitely the crack head), and
Aaron and Jay sleep together, facing opposite directions…duh Mom.
P.S. Mom, sorry about the sea-men
joke, I could not resist, and was highly likely drunk…sorry for partying.
No comments:
Post a Comment