Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Aaron, I won’t tell the story of you boke-ing in the men’s room




Friday, the 30th

            In Devere fashion, Aaron rolls out of bed and asks, “Why didn’t anyone wake me up for the test today…haha.”  Back-story, Aaron was prepared to take test #2.  Jay and I were fully aware that this test would surely not interrupt morning, and apparently Aaron became the 3rd member of the plan…ride together, die together, bad boys for life as we like to say.  More like we just didn’t care at this point.  The ironic part of it all is that we were woken up by the noise of all the other students returning to the apartment and rejoicing the completion of the course…o how innocent of them, I had this celebration last Thursday.
            Anyways, we powdered up and headed off to the students luncheon with Heavy D (Damien), Mary (Lit. teacher I never mentioned since I never attended her class), Robert the Boss, Liam Mumbler, and the rest of the rat-pack.  It was one of those receptions where nobody officially tells you to start eating, but all the food is already out…and everyone kind of waits for a queue, but none is given.  But who am I kidding; Zeke-a-Leak enters and locks eyes with the sandwich tray…and in the words of Cork’s favorite Queen song, “Don’t stop me now.”  Within six seconds, Zeke had downed the first sandwich and was On To The Next One by Jay-Z (Aaron, see what I did there).  So naturally, we all dug in, Zeke broke the ice.
            After scouring for all the red-meat sandwiches to absorb the final portion of alcohol in my stomach, we probably consumed about 20 as a wolf-pack…Jay was still feelin’ a little sleepy/groggy/drunk and headed back to bed.  On behalf of the Devere Scholars, Aaron and I personally thanked Damien and Mary for their time and providing such a robust educational experience.  Funny thing here, Damien had a big smile on his face and took back all accusations from day 1…he clearly was unaware we all had ditched test #2 three hours earlier.  To top it off, Mary applauded our addition to the classroom…Mary, I never attended more than 1 of your lectures, and I know you don’t have me confused for #2, that would just be rude.  I’m not about to stop you though…especially since you said you were giving good reports about us to Fr. Cahalan.  Just smile and nod.
            What made my day though was a wolf-pack photo with Robert.  As if standing with a statue of Ireland’s hero, we proudly smiled and put an arm around our man…and hey Damien, Robert didn’t get mad, reason #8 he is cooler than you.  Anyways, we left the Hogwarts palace and Aaron and I toured around campus taking photos.  While it was tempting to walk across the forbidden lawn, we resisted…UCC, when I come back in the fall, I am crossing it…watch your back.  And we also resisted floating down the Lee River behind campus; our inner Huck Finn was itching for an adventure.
            We then walked back to the apartment…and Aaron disappeared for 3 hours…Kate, you have to warn us when you steal a wolf for this long.  Anyways, this gave me 3 hours of no-shenanigan packing time, in which I packed my junk….as in my bags, perverts.  Once pack, I began the feast for days.  About 5lbs of pasta, 20 potatoes, 2 pounds of red meat, 2 pounds of turkey, a pack of mushrooms, onion, and of course Jay, spices.  How about a potato casserole, linguine noodles with meat and penne noodles with turkey…and some good sauce to go with…I think we ended up feeding 15 people…Gabe asks, “Who has a boner?”  By the end of the night, everyone raised their hand.  So dinner was good…Aaron liked it so much he may or may not have ended up tasting it twice…fill in the blank…we drank A LOT.  Let’s make a drink list…for our own dignity, we will not list the amount of each, but they are all greater than one.  Shotgun pint(s) of Carlsberg, shot(s) of Tesco Gin, shot(s) of Bushmills Whiskey, shot(s) of apple schnapps, shot(s) of Captain Morgan, pint(s) of Murphy’s, Smirnoff Ice(s), plus a full stomach of “so much” meat.  Travis, you bought me a shot at An Brog…I was drunk, but I remember...you remember my toast, when I see you again, I owe you one.  Dan says, “Let the icing begin.”  1 of 5 for Dan, to various members of the UCC crew.
            Since An Brog was not doin live music, we wished Tony farewell, and headed off the The Bailey.  Dancing? Yes please.  We boogie for a few hours, promptly are all iced by Dan the Man…and Aaron disappears…Aaron, I won’t tell the story of you boke-ing in the men’s room.  We resisted leaving The Bailey, as it was a sad departure, but we made a pit-stop at the BK Lounge and made a final walk back to campus.  Folks, this was sad…apparently I did have a really good time because I realized I truly didn’t want to be leaving.
            It was 3:30, Liz and Kelsie already bounced (after vowing that we would meet again…hint…August 10 in Chicago), and another group was preparing for their 4am cab departure.  Bernice (says Ali) left 2 bottles of 6 buck chuck, and Josh was all over it like his first Christmas…its ok, he had just woken up from blacking out and not even making it out on the town tonight.  In the goodie bag left by Bernice and Co., I found an umbrella, tin foil, and a full sack of sugar.  First, Josh gets a foil hat from Signs.  Next, a yellow umbrella...cute Josh.  To top it off, I felt Josh could use a nice flower for his outfit…or should I say flour…see what I did there.  Let the antiquing begin…folks, antiquing is covering a sleeping individual in flour, making them perfectly encased in white…this was with a twist though, Josh was awake…and totally ok with it.  But I turned my back for 1 second, and the tables turned.  Diane and I became antiquing victims immediately…and Josh even chased us around the premises, spreading pounds of flour everywhere.  Security didn’t seem pleased for some reason, go figure…something about being civil.
            Whatever, civil people would have internet and hot water too, so consider it even.  To top it off, Josh enacted his best Def Leppard impression by pouring some sugar on me (me being Diane).  A shit-show indeed Josh, job well done.  O what’s up sunrise, bed at 6am.

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