Sunday, August 1, 2010

Lock it up Zeke, you’re out of control




Thursday, the 22nd

            Today marks my official retirement from class…it has been a great ride, I have learned a lot, but lets be real, vini vidi vici, I got my 3 units…peace.  No Robert, no thank you.  Anyways, on my retirement day, I did attend the lecture.  This same fat lecturer who sweated quicker than Ron Jeremy running a marathon…shit was gross.  I see here in my notes that at the end of the day I wrote “Sparknotes was better than your fat-ass.”  Gabe agrees, you blow man…YouTube videos are cool if the videos don’t suck and are not of a lady singing for 8 minutes.  Maybe its not your fault Michelin Man, but the way you teach James Joyce even made Zeke the Sneak pass out…as I have said earlier, take a step back and evaluate your career, maybe the job at the hair salon was a better choice…I digress no more
            I did write a paper today…Mom, I was in the library for a long time, and from about 4-10, I cranked out an essay on the Gaelic Athletic Association.  Damien, stutter dude, dramatic pause man, Liam…take note, if you lecture on something interesting, like sports, people might listen to you.  Zeke, I know you like water sports.
            Zeke, funny I should mention your name, as you possibly remember none of the remainder of the night, just like you forgot everyones name as well.  Folks, if you can’t tell by the clues…Zeke had a little too much sauce tonight…kid was schmammered.
            Stop 1, The Bailey.  Live music was great as always, the Otis Redding + My Girl mix is still good, even the 4th time.  Anyway, you stopped making music, so we bounced.  An Brog next.  Pit stop at the pay phone, called the bank, looks like they broke my ATM card…mistyped my pin, and can’t fix it on the phone, thanks Wells.  Whatever…sorry Dad, bar takes card…maybe I will reach that credit limit.
            At this point, Zeke was sippin on double digit drinks…and while tall Zeke, you aren’t the biggest dude, alcohol soaks in quick.  While I was on the phone, you managed to spill a man’s drink, barf in 2 pint glasses consecutively, put your finger in Aaron’s face for ten minutes at a time, and after being escorted out, insisting you should go back in.  Lock it up Zeke, youre out of control.  And Kate, your man is the man, not just cuz of The Will Power, but for serious.  He walked Zeke home (props to you too Amelia), and if it weren’t for the pony tail, Aaron did everything but hold your hair-back Zeke.  It still confuses me why you didn’t use the trash can, but who am I to judge…you were hilarious.  Lacey has your photo if you want it.
            While you barfed up your last 6 days of food, I sobered up on some bread…I don’t think it did anything, but it subsided the drunchies.  Aaron, you look like you got it covered, Zeke-a-Leak sleeps sitting up.  Good night Zeke, good morning hangover.

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