“This is a bus, do you know how big a bus is?”

Saturday, the 24^th

            Today we woke up and called a tour bus company…yes mom and dad, we signed up for a 6-hour, narrated tour to the Cliffs of Moher…no alcohol or sailor ladies included.  While waiting for the bus to arrive, we ate our first full Irish breakfast…”so much meat”, says Jay.

            After we eat, Paul sweeps us off our feet and away we go.  Before you think I scored at the gay-bar, Paul is our bus driver…get your minds out of the gutter.  As each person got on the bus, Paul would ask where you were from.  To simplify things, we all said LA (since we go to school there), and for the rest of the day, the wolf-pack was referred to as Los Angeles.  Other groups were Germany, Israel, New Jersey (dude with terrible jokes), Holland, etc.  Anyways, Paul had jokes.  What better weather to have on a day we are expecting to see 700 foot cliffs than rain and fog…perfect.  But you have forgotten, we got Big Paul.  To let the fog subside, Paul took us to a 100 foot  set of cliffs, simply a warm up.  Paul had 2 rules…be back on the bus on time, and no falling off the cliff…O Paul, what a comedian.

            After Paul explains that a true Irish-man pronounces 33 and 1/3 as “tarty tree and a tard,” we stopped at a bar, then off to the cliffs.  Good call Paul, have a few beers then take us to an un-fenced, 700 foot cliff.  Doug, we have no answer why anyone would do this.  In the clearing of the fog, Paul gave us 1 hour at the cliffs, with a strong threat that he would leave us if we did not make it back in time…hint.  Well as we climb along the cliffs, we realize that all of the good views and rock patios of sorts were blocked off by a fence…so as Devere Scholars, we simply climbed through the fence and travelled along a slippery cliff edge to a rather frightening drop off.  Its ok Mrs. Abbott, Jay only had 1 Guinness before we did this.  Height-a-phobia or not, this was scary.  You could literally walk to the edge of a 700 foot cliff, with a light fog, birds swirling, and waves crashing below.  Of course, we got our hands and feet as close as possible without falling.  2 side notes…we definitely interrupted a couple trying to have a quick, romantic session on the cliffs…sorry. Also, some doucher who was taking our photo dropped my camera…a*shole.  I digress no more, Paul is leaving in 5 minutes…better run along the slippery cliff edge back to the bus…I am typing this blog now, we clearly made it safe.

            Unfortunately, some crazy lady did not make it back. No, she did not fall, she was just late, and Paul does not f*ck around.  But her trusty friend got back on the bus without her…true friendship right there.  As the crazy, non-friend/friend lady yelled at Paul, which is obviously a bad idea, since Paul is a BA, Paul took us to some secret spots, an old abbey, a castle, and some other cool rock formations.  Although on roads no wider than a suburban, Paul barreled down them in his giant bus.  In the words of the great Tobias Jones of Jones Big Ass Truck Rental - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0gb9v4LI4o – “this is a bus, do you know how big a bus is?”  O yes, Paul knows how big a bus is, and he drives it like a boss.

            Sadly, at 6pm, our Paulean adventures ended, and Paul kicked us off his bus, tour over.  After the tour, we walked into a pizza joint that was poppin, and were greeted by a lady that said our 2^nd pizza would only be 15 cents.  Stephen (me) could never pass up that offer, we stayed.  After changing at the hotel, we returned to Fibbers, where, personally, I feel that Jay and I crafted a beautiful conversation starter which Jay delivered perfectly.  A girl is standing with a small umbrella in her hair.  Wavy locks Jay approaches and says (note, we are in Ireland, it rains an ass-load here) “Hey, if it is raining later, can we share that umbrella?”  Crafty right?  Apparently not…the girl laughed but her friend accused Americans of having bad humor and quickly CB’d jay.  Whatever lady, the dude abides, and we were drinking white Russians…sometimes you bite the bar, and sometimes the bar bites you.

            We then returned to the Kings Head…no sailors here…damn.  But an amazing live band played…even with successful covers of Lady Gaga, Beyonce, and Kings of Leon.  We then snuck into a night club…folks, here is a warning…never listen to the Japanese Popstars, they suck tons…we bounced.

            Jay passes out as he hits the bed, snoring immediately.  We wake up Jay, ask him to stop snoring…and in a thick foreign accent we hear “Sorry boys.”  Luckily the snoring stopped.